Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Little Baby Barack Obama

So, this is the first actual blog I'm posting that tells the story of a dream I've had. The dream took place around a year ago; I can't remember exactly when. But, I can remember the dream pretty vividly. And if you couldn't tell by the title, it has to do with Barack Obama. And it gets much, MUCH worse than that.

I'll just jump right in to it. In the dream, I was sitting in my house with some guests. Although the house looked nothing like the house that I actually live in, I somehow knew that it was mine. My guests included a fairly attractive, middle-aged-looking woman and Barack Obama. The interesting thing about Barack was that he had a baby's body. He still had a large adult head, but it was on top of a tiny baby's body. He was also able to talk and move around like a regular adult. On top of that, he was wearing nothing but a diaper and a pair of socks. Me and attractive middle-aged-looking woman were seemingly not too interested in the fact that, number one, we were sitting with Barack Obama, and, number two, he had a tiny baby's body. We were simply just sitting at my bar, drinking and carrying on.

It then went downhill from there. Way the fuck downhill. So far fucking down.

The next thing I remember is seeing the middle-aged-looking woman standing up wearing nothing but her underwear. And she was pissed off at little Obama for some reason or another. There are two interesting things about this woman that I then noticed. A) The panties she was wearing were red, see-through, and wet. But a weird looking sort of wet; almost greasy. This would have been hot if it weren't for: B) The fact that the woman had a little penis.

She started chasing little Barack around my house. I was scared and trying to stop it. After a while, little Barack grew tired and stopped to catch his breath in front of a wooden wall. On the other side of that wall was a bedroom. The woman with the little greasy penis did not care to stop chasing little Barack around and tackled him. She tackled him so hard that both of their bodies broke through the wooden wall into the bedroom behind it. The woman with the little penis then proceeded to take off her wet underwear and force her tiny penis into little baby Barack Obama's ass.

As you would imagine, I did not like this. But, unfortunately, it gets worse.... Well, for me, anyway.

I was pissed. So I yelled at the woman and told her to get out of my house. She then said to me, "Why?! What did I do?" I mean, it was pretty obvious what she did. She chased a small, baby version of the President of the United States around my house, broke a wooden wall, and then butt-raped him. But, for some reason, I didn't mention any of that. The only thing I said to her was, "Because you have a little penis!"

Her response was simply, "You have a little penis!"

I'm not exactly sure what this means and this is all I remember from the dream. And fuck me sideways if I'm making it up; I swear to Atheist god that it's true. If anyone could maybe interpret this, that'd be awesome. Frightening, but maybe awesome, too. Also, I believe my penis to be of average size.

I swear.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

So, guys,

I've decided to take a different approach with this blog. Instead of writing reviews on things (which admittedly gets to be very hard) I'm going to write about my dreams. It's been recently brought to my attention that I have some pretty weird dreams sometimes. I mean, really, REALLY bizarre.
Now, I'm not going to write about every dream. Because not ALL of my dreams are crazy. But, often enough, I have a really bizarre one.
I haven't had any interesting dreams lately, but I have some in mind that happened in the past that were SO strange that I still remember them perfectly to this day. So, hopefully some time soon when I find the time, I'm going to be posting the first one, which is the weirdest dream I have in recent memory.
You can expect funny, strange, scary and even sad dreams. Who knows.

Stay tuned!

Saturday, March 26, 2011